Ahhh Enrique

So a few days ago was Enrique Iglesias concert in Bulgaria... for the first time he visited our country and … there is no way to not share with you guys my experiences and emotions.  First of all I have to say that I’ve never loved Enrique but I’ve always respected and liked him and considered him as a very positive and nice person. After that night everything changed (for good of course). Now for me this guy is … much more, I adore him, I adore his stage presence and the way he connects with the crowd.

Unlike Rihanna we didn’t have to wait for him for two hours. Yes we waited half an hour but only because he was supposed to get on stage at 9... and he was there at 9:05. Only 5 minutes late! This man despite how famous he is, didn’t exalted himself  and he know what it feels like to wait in the rain to see one of the biggest stars at the moment. He didn’t overrated himself that he is something more than the ordinary people and he continues to be a normal person and to act like one even on stage, for which I admire him and congratulate him.

            The way he blows the crowd is absolutely unbelievable! Every little thing which he did he didn’t do it just like that so he can sing a few songs and then take the money and go home, he did it for the crowd! And the end … when he toke up a random girl from the crowd and... and sang personally to her “Hero” … it was so intimate and romantic … I still don’t know how this girl didn’t lost conscious... I know it wasn’t me up there but I felt everything with her.

            What the hell I’m doing? I’m trying to describe you with words something which is unexplainable if you weren’t there and didn’t feel it. You didn’t feel the euphoria, the adrenalin, the excitement of every single person in the crowd. I’m sure people will talk about that for a looong time.

            After all if you weren’t there (or any other Enrique concert) you sure missed a lot!  

Life is not a movie...

    "Life is not a movie. Good guys lose, everybody lies, and love does not conquer all."

    How much truth there is in this words. And with every year the hope that there is happy ending for the good girls and boys vanishes little by little. This quote is from a movie from 1994 .. since then 16 years have passed. If people then were thinking that  it's hard why don't they take a look at our lives now - a jungle. Even at the jungle it's easier. Every animal has it's own way of attracting the other gender and it depends on different things - appearance, dance, song, overpower - and what about us? To us it's all about who's better player, who will offer more of themselves, who is a bigger ho and whose wallet is bigger. Is that important now? Where are the values, where is the love .. ok forget the love, where are the values? Where are the important stuff which make us happy - tenderness, care, the touch from the love one, his kisses ...

       Yes truly life isn't a movie 'cuz in the movies everything's perfect, there're all of the deceptions about love, good guys, honesty, but now even the movies are conquered by the ugly truth. Now good guys don't win the girl of their dreams (who usually is their best friend), no they stay with broken hearts while she's gone to some jerk 'cuz the bigger asshole you are more chicks are all over you. Everybody lies and that's what sells. And love ... hah .. it is said that every one of those movies is about romance but not about the pure and irreplaceable one, tender one, the one which makes your stomach turns when you think about your lover's finger across your skin. but the broken, corrupt, tainted one which they call love but it isn't even close to the real deal.

    Life is not a movie .. and sooner you realize it easier it would be to become a reckless  bitch or two-faced player and you will be "happy" behind the mask of the stereotype.

Boys ..

Today for a countless time I was convinced that if a cute guy is not taken or gay than he must be unbelievably stupid or maniacal perv. Eventually there can exist 2-3 normal guys, but lets get back to the main idea. It happen some boys to be more stupid than others or to be freaks that’s even cool, or to be pervs, they all are it’s their nature. But when things get mixed up the picture gets ugly.

            Let’s say you meet this awesome guy in a blog, dating site, facebook and you think how cool he is. You start a conversation and find out that you two have a lot in common, music, books, and movies for example. “Great” you think “Not only he is sexy but he also has a great taste.” You decide to move to the next step – Skype (or any program similar to that)! WOW!! Here is where you find our hero’s real identity. While you are talking about going to the sea and he offers you if you bump to each other there to buy you a drink and you suggest that you can even swim together and here comes the line “that way I could hid myself if something gets up”. You say to yourself that this is ok, he is a guy and that kind of things happen, it’s not fatal.  Yeah but few lines lower he offers you willingly to show you his winner. Wait! WHAT?!

            Yep dear ladies those are the risks to be alone searching for the perfect guy always facing one of a kind assholes. And I think that this is the better version because at least this one is not so stupid that you’re trying to find any logic or he is just unbelievably stupid. The line of his thoughts has so many turns and rest stops that it would be difficult even for a rally champion.

            But you can’t quit because somewhere between this crowd of wrong ones for which there is also a half also such nymphos , is walking your perfect man, not too perfect, just a guy with who you can talk and it’s not needed for any perversions .. Just someone who will understand you. And about his sexiness? Everyone has its own criteria; in someone’s eyes everyone’s beautiful. =]

Listening to: 
Across The Sky – Everywhere She Goes 
Jay Sean – Down 

Corpse

          Yesterday as I was doing the dishes I realized how sad the life of the glasses is. While I was throwing the waste of someone’s food in the trash I spotted a corpse … a corpse of a glass. It was sad. I was sadden to see her there … it pieces. Somebody has killed her.

            Later it was discovered that nobody has killed her, she was found that way and someone good enough has buried her in the trash. How sad. A suicide... But why did she do it? Didn’t I give her everything? Didn’t I give her love and juice...? Although the last few weeks she was on a diet, only juice diet without cola. Maybe there was the problem?

            How sad … 

FIFA World Cup 2010

   You know the World Cup, that one in Afrika, with the jabulani and vuvuzelas? Yah I know you do, let's face it it's a WORLD cup there's no way any normal person miss it. So I was watching the games, all the games and I have a few things to say. 
   I can't say much about the commentators, 'cuz I'm from BG and a few people would know what I'm talking about. But I bet that almost everyone of you guys has that annoying person, who thinks he knows everything, even the PIN of the players and he's a better player than anyone of them. I fuckin' hate that guy. 
   Anyways about the teams. I can't get it when you can't play, I mean you are in a bed shape and it's just not your world cup, and you have to blame the vuvuzelas and the jabulani. You are a professional player you shouldn't mind such things. 
   And what's with Pique? It's not that I don't like him, vice versa I like him a lot, but poor guy his luck just doesn't exist. He bleed on the field, he was kicked in the .. you know, he bleed again .. It's not fair ... 
  My favorite part is when the judge kicked out african goalkeeper. I laugh my ass off on that. And my other favorite part  is the game between Brazil and New Zealand. you know what I mean. ahha
  Now the octopus said that Spain will win and I trust him, even though I don' mind even if Netherlands win. Both teams deserve the cup. Who did you cheer for on this World Cup? 
And a little sth for everyone:

Betrayed

            Have you ever felt betrayed and lied whole life? Well I just felt like that. But truly … I think that I don’t even know my own mother. Why did she lye to me? Or why didn’t she tell me? Sometimes it’s the same. I thought the relationship between mother and daughter should be very strong and there have to be sharing. I know that I and mum are not like that, but not to tell me something that important? I didn’t expect that from her …

            And the stupid thing is that she told me like it was nothing and now she doesn’t want me to “bother her with nonsense” … Yeah I told so too ... What if that was me? Why my opinion is not important for her? Ok, I was little (I don’t know, maybe I wasn’t, but how should I know when she isn’t telling me), I wasn’t able to gave proper opinion, but still .. Well in this house my view is one big nothing ... at least for that kind of stuff … I know if I have the same decision to make, I wouldn’t do the same...

            Why the fuck didn’t she tell me?!?! And why doesn’t she want to talk to me for that? Why not only once she asked me what I think … A LIE … that was my life...

            The worst thing is to fell betrayed by your own mother … I know I haven’t agreed with her so many times, but it wasn’t anything that would disappoint me .. I’m ashamed …

Yeah, about the drinking ...

 So I guess every one of you guys has been drunk at least once in his life. But I don't mean a little drunk, I mean so drunk that you couldn't count how many times you puked. And yet you remember .. most of the things. Let me tell you something about being drunk - DON'T EVER DO THAT (again).

  First of all why do you do it? Just for fun, to forget, to drown the pain? Yeah ok, drink, it's natural and common, but don't get drunk. I know you have a good reason, everybody does (well except the alcoholics, but that's another story). I usually do it to drown the pain .. unsuccessfully,the only think that go under water is my dinner (or the last thing I had). 

  Another thing is that you embarrass yourself in front of your friends, and sometimes even some strangers. You do stupid stuff - like trying to lit a candle, which falls on you, and everyone get nervous, 'cuz maybe you would set them on fire. Or kiss your ex, or even having sex with him. Which you will regret later, I know. Sleeping randomly with some strangers. Puking on the floor. Falling. And my personal specialty - getting depressed and crying, without stopping. 

  Then you puke.

  Then you make full of yourself again. 

  Then you puke ... again ... and again ..

 ... and again ..

 and then you fall asleep on the toilet sit. 

Haha so drink, but don't get drunk it's my suggestion *wink* 

In my head

   I was making some thinking and I decided to share my thoughts with you...

   So have you ever watched a movie or series and thought "damn that girl/boy is just like me". Well I have. I think I'm much alike with Brook Davis from One Tree Hill and Chandler from Friends. Like Brooke I'm always miserable in love. All my friends have boyfriends (or girlfriends) and I'm the only one who's alone. But I'm not giving up on love, 'cuz I know some day it will find me just like it found Brooke. I mean when something awesome is happening to her, I know there is a chance that something nice could happen to me too. And Chandler is funny and weird, so am I. Haha also just like him I'm 18-years-old virgin, but lets hope this would change soon. So if anybody reads my blog, please tell me what are yours movie/series characters. =P

   Another thing I was thinking about is destiny and how much I hate her sometimes. I mean COME ON!!! How could she do this to us?! Today I saw (again) my net-services guy and I was like WOW. But I know I can't have him, 'cuz he's married with child.. and about 10 years older than me (but that last one doesn't bother me). So why does fate shows us such incredible creatures, when we can't have them?!?! How did I deserve that? What have I done?  

   I think that's all for now. See you soon bloggers.

What I had, what I need and what I want ..

  Damn I miss that feeling of safety. Only two people in this world have made me feel that way – my own mother and my first and (for now) only love. You’ll say “you’re only 18, what do you know about love?” well I know enough. I know how when he embraced me everything around me stopped, I felt safe, calm and loved. You know, I guess, what I am talking about. You know what is like to be in the arms of your beloved and nothing else matters. I want to feel that again. For 4 years I have been searching for the same thing, I try to find it in various people, different, good, bad, but... it’s never the same. Maybe for that matter my heart is crippled, unable to commit fully to someone, unable to love truly again and closed for other’s love. It’s sad that my friends tell me that everything’s gonna be just fine, not because I don’t trust them, but they don’t know how I really feel, how it hurts and how painful it is. If you know how I feel – you’ll understand me, if you haven’t felt that way – you’ll judge me, and if you’re not alone – you won’t even care. I just wanted to share my wishes, my needs, myself. I’m a memory of a loved person, a phantom searching his philter with hope and desire.

   I’m vexed only for one thing – the person I’m talking about will never know how I feel and what I felt about him, because for him everything was just infatuation and for me – everything.

The beginning

   So outside is raining, flashing, rumbling and thundering .. and of course my car's alarm is whining. So in that wonderfull night I decided to start a blog, another one, but this time in English, so I could share my pain, joy and urges with the world. haha i sound stupid, but who cares? The important thing is that I started it! Before I go to bed, let me tell you a few things about me: I'm young, disturbed and totally lost in life 18-years-old girl from Bulgaria (I'll talk about my lovely country soon), my prom is a week from now, and I don't know what's gonna happen to me next. All I know is that outside is raging a storm and I'm fuckin' scared, so I'm going to bed, hoping that I would go to sleep quickly.